When things are beyond our control, here's something that we must NOT DO so as to avoid misery in our life:
We must not decide how we think the world SHOULD be.
We must not make rules for how everyone SHOULD behave.
Then, when the world doesn't obey our rules, we get angry!
That's what miserable people do!
On the other hand, let's say we expect that:
Friends SHOULD return favours
People SHOULD appreciate us
Planes SHOULD arrive on time
Everyone SHOULD be honest
Our lover or best friend SHOULD remember our birthday.
These expectations may sound reasonable. But often, these things won't happen!
So we end up frustrated and disappointed.
There's a better strategy:
Demand less, and instead, have preferences!
For things that are beyond our control, tell ourself:
"I would prefer this, but if that happens, it’s OK too!"
This is really a change in mindset. It is a shift in attitude, and it gives us more peace of mind ...
We prefer that people are polite ... but when they are rude, it doesn't ruin our day. We prefer sunshine ...but if it rains, it is ok too!
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